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About Digital Art / Student Cyclone DuskMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Newest Deviations

A Kushy Evening :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 3 2 Essential Sparkbloom :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 5 4 Angel From Above :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 2 2 Heatwave Portrait :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 3 2 Maydecake :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 9 4 Snow Feather :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 6 2 Ice Quill, Warden of the North :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 6 6 Arcadian Glimmer :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 5 1 Portrait for a friend :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 10 1 Weaponized Cute :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 10 1 Stradiverra Contemplates :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 6 1 Rocketblaze :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 3 2 No More FNAF2 For Luna :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 265 50 Cover for a Fanfic :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 6 2 The One Thing :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 90 15 Gibbontake Ponders Life :iconcyclone-dusk:Cyclone-Dusk 15 8

Favourites

Hotline :iconjollyjack:jollyjack 2,254 192 Loss :iconlycanium:Lycanium 17,321 1,633 Twilight Sparkles so much! :iconcountcarbon:CountCarbon 4,531 414 Sexy Twilight Sparkle Wallpaper :iconbluedragonhans:BlueDragonHans 439 92 Cheer up!!! :iconuotapo:uotapo 3,826 870 Bluish Night :iconuotapo:uotapo 5,218 692 Sunbutt Portrait :iconcannibalus:Cannibalus 5,957 597 Roaring Rarity :iconkilalaaa:kilalaaa 9,221 749 Muffins :iconwubcakeva:WubcakeVA 111 26 Lion's Ocean :iconjopiter:Jopiter 2,206 106 Vampire Trixie :iconuotapo:uotapo 3,588 302 Academy of Magic :iconequestria-prevails:Equestria-Prevails 1,861 323 Moonbust :icongiumbreon4ever:Giumbreon4ever 281 9 Laughy Luna :iconambunny:Ambunny 338 24 BronyCon 2015 Sketch- Awkward Noms :iconlatecustomer:LateCustomer 323 83 One Special Talent (Page 1) :icontexasuberalles:TexasUberAlles 628 30

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Cyclone-Dusk's Profile Picture
Cyclone-Dusk
Cyclone Dusk
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
IF YOU WANT TO COMMISSION ME:
1. Pay whatever you *can*. I have NO FIXED RATE.
2. I will not expect payment until AFTER the work is done!
3. I MAY prioritize folks who offer more, but this is *not* a contest; if my inspiration WANTS me to do one in particular, that's the one I'll probably do.

Only Candy Colored Equines Make The Hurting Stop...

Hello! I am not rich enough to be considered Eccentric, so we can just settle on BARKING MAD! I'm scraping by at the bottom of the barrel, scrambling for whatever feeble hoofhold I can to avoid a cataclysmic self-destruction in a glorious blaze of stupid. I'm actively feeding delusions, willfully engaging in cognitive dissonance for fun and profit, and gleefully throwing caution to the wind because any rational person who has been through what I've been through would have given up by now! :D It's a LOT LESS FUN than I make it sound!

As long as I can keep drawing ponies, I'm happy. Please let me know if you'd like me to draw something! I accept donations via Paypal ^_^ but you don't have to give me anything; I just appreciate if you think I deserve something.

If you ever get a crazy generous vibe out of the blue:

Paypal: mtd.mobius@gmail.com
Dogecoin: DEj92fFeCJz1jaxv3Jc6UK727ACCKqiP6G
(many beg, such supplicate, very puppydog eyes, wow, so humility)
Interests
Dear Princess Celestia,

As per usual I must preface with my lament that I don't write you more often. I wish I could say I've been busy, as this would imply something productive. But unfortunately, I am not impressed with my own exploits of late... After Bronycon 2016, I seem to have entered a much shallower, but all the same much longer slump. I fell out of touch with the Bronycon staff community as well, even though I believe I handled the rearrangement of staff roles relatively well.

I am no longer slated to be a subcommander, a role that one of our Team Leads, a particularly AMAZING guy, was stepping up to fill (last I checked). And it was a good call, really it was. I can't say I regret it. However... it still ... stings. I don't feel any malice at all... I just feel loss. It wasn't like it was a disciplinary action. I just thought I could have done better. Could have done more in my time in that position. I believe I'll still be on security this year... but I have to fess up and face my peers again. And the thought of that, frankly, fills me with irrational dread that I can't seem to account for entirely. 

In several ways, I have let go. My health deteriorates, your majesty. My previous efforts only went so far as to briefly slow my descent, but disheartened at the results, a slippage of willpower has lead to a precipitous fall. I've never been unhealthier than I am now, except for when I was hospitalized in 2009. 

In at least one way, the letting go was good. Or at least, it was necessary. I have, as you well know my liege, an unfortunate tendency to worry about things I either cannot, or simply did not, control. I can't state for sure what the extents of my capabilities are anymore, but I have a very vivid sense of where they have reached so far. Not far at all. So I have in some ways finally beaten it in that becoming upset over the past or afraid of the future is not helping me in the present.

A chain of events led to something happening that I did not see coming, but am nevertheless very grateful for: the return of Sparkbloom to the forefront of my awareness. She's been a very active presence in my life these last few weeks. Her observations have proven more than invaluable. they are nigh-on lifechanging. Chief among them, and cornerstone to my radical acceptance of incompetence for better or for worse, was a realization that I and my body are not one and the same. Treating it as if it were me has been the source of many difficulties. 

I believe I've told you in the past, Your Majesty, that sometimes I will decide to do something but not see it happen, or that I will do things without making a conscious decision to do so. That oftentimes I feel as though I am merely a spectator to my own life, a camera on rails, unable to act but only watch. And I had been punishing myself, brutally, for these occurrences. Well... the punishing never helped. It never did. Nor the blaming. ... it isn't me. Sometimes I'm not myself. Sometimes, I'm on autopilot. Sometimes, I lose hours, or even days, or even weeks. I have lost months before, princess. 

Sparkbloom has taken the helm for me in the past, attempting as non-invasively as possible to ensure that I am not injured or destroyed in my absence. But it was during these times when I was entirely catatonic, while she was navigating for me, that she identified the habits and impulses I once blamed myself for, manifesting on their own. Without supervision, this body... it does things. She likened it to "Piloting a Zombie like a Mechsuit". Some of my friends who have been introduced to these happenings have also taken to the illustrative idea of the body being a zombie that a conscious mind can guide and make suggestions to, but ultimately that it is an animal that will go its own way without reason or rhyme if allowed. 

My zombie hungers. It shambles aimlessly, scavenging sometimes. Eating even when it's full. It engages itself with repetitive, numbly rewarding tasks, reading articles on reddit for hours and hours while retaining nothing.

... it even rots like a zombie. 

I don't have a trustworthy autopilot, and whenever my attention lapses all the bad habits rush in to fill the void that I leave behind. The initial disassociative episode I had almost two decades ago that purged my mind until 2009 left a permanent mark that still influences who I am to this day. How could it not?

Alas... I didn't even sit down to write this to you, Princess. But my time is short. Perhaps I'll share with you a lesson I recently learned--or perhaps it's more of a refinement on a line of thought that has been with me for quite sometime. 

Faithfully,
Your loyal subject,
Cyclone Dusk
  • Listening to: https://youtu.be/9TwwiLAk4GM
  • Reading: Green Mars (ISBN 0553373358)
  • Playing: Minecraft

Journal History

Comments


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:iconabysscrystal92:
abysscrystal92 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017
Hey I miss you we should hang out sometime or talk sometime lol
Reply
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2016  Student General Artist
:iconpinkiehappyplz::iconsaysplz:Yay! We're here, everypony!
:iconhappytsplz::iconsaysplz:Phew, that wasn't long. I told you we could easily make it on hoof!
:iconstyle1plz::iconsaysplz:Speak for yourself, Twi, you didn't have to carry this cake! It's heavy, you know!
:iconpinkiebrilliantplz::iconsaysplz:Thank you for helping out, Dashie! I couldn't have settled for anything less, after all!
:iconfluttershy-plz::iconsaysplz:Hi... We're here to... wish you a happy birthday.
:iconpinkiepieplz::iconsaysplz:You said it! Happy birthday!
:iconbrilliantpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:And what better way to say "happy birthday" than with a cake? :iconcakepinkplz:
:iconapple-jackplz::iconsaysplz:Why, with a real Apple family apple pie, of course! :iconapplepieplz:
:iconderpyhappyplz::iconsaysplz:With a muffin! Yay! :iconmlpmuffinplz:
:iconraritysmileplz::iconsaysplz:But these, while pleasant to give, mean little by themselves...
:iconrarityiscuteplz::iconsaysplz:What makes them meaningful are our wishes for you!
:iconpinkiesmile2plz::iconsaysplz:Exactly! And we wish for you to have a perfect birthday and a great year ahead of you!
:iconrainbowdashhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't fear any challenges you might face! No matter how bad it may seem, have faith in yourself and keep on being awesome!
:icontwilighthappyplz::iconsaysplz:And while at it, keep a level head and don't lose sight of what's important! Keep the magic of friendship alive in yourself!
:iconapplejackhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Remember your loved ones and friends, an' don't let little things an' worries get you down!
:iconspikethinkingplz::iconsaysplz:We hope that you'll find all you seek and be the best you can be!
:iconrarityjoyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't forget to respect yourself! You're the best at being you, so stay true to what you really are!
:iconflutterpweezeplz::iconsaysplz:And we hope that you'll be at peace with yourself, too... and that the year ahead will be peaceful for you.
:iconpinkiewinkplz::iconsaysplz:And throughout all that, have fun! It isn't fun if you don't have any, after all, and fun it should be!
:iconpinkiepartyplz::iconsaysplz:Just like today! Party on!
Reply
:iconwubcakeva:
WubcakeVA Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hai buddy! :D
Reply
:iconcyclone-dusk:
Cyclone-Dusk Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2015  Student Digital Artist
<3
Reply
:iconmidnightlighty:
MidnightLighty Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! Just wanted to say I like your art! I might commission you, if you feel up for that sometime soon. 
Reply
:iconcyclone-dusk:
Cyclone-Dusk Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2015  Student Digital Artist
pleased to hear it ^^ I am always looking for more inspiration, so if you have anything in mind feel free to send me a note!
Reply
:iconstarsurvivaldancer:
starsurvivaldancer Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist

woop woop! Happy Birthday!
Reply
:icontwilightismagic:
TwilightIsMagic Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2015  Student General Artist
:iconpinkiehappyplz::iconsaysplz:Weeee! Today's the day, everypony!
:icontwilightderpplz::iconsaysplz:Pinkie, do we have to teleport in like that every time?
:iconpinkiecuteplz::iconsaysplz:Of course, silly! Else it wouldn't be a proper birthday greeting!
:iconisaypinkieplz::iconsaysplz:Ahem...
:iconapplejackplz::iconsaysplz:And it wouldn't be a proper birthday if Ah didn't bring y'all an apple pie, baked by yours truly!:iconapplepieplz:
:iconrarityiscuteplz::iconsaysplz:Let us all give you our best wishes on this occasion and wish you a wonderful year!
:iconflutter-shyplz::iconsaysplz:I hope that you will not run into any trouble this year and that everything will be as good as it can possibly be.
:icondashissuperhappyplz::iconsaysplz:Don't forget that you're awesome! And that we're all your friends! Keep on rockin'!
:icontwilightliciousplz::iconsaysplz:Always keep the magic of friendship within you. May it bring you as much joy as it brings us!
:iconadorablespikeplz::iconsaysplz:And don't ever feel like you're useless or unworthy! Only you have what it takes to live your life, so don't let anyone or anything else get you down!
:iconbrilliantpinkieplz::iconsaysplz:And of course, don't forget to have fun while at it! And speaking of fun...
Reply
:iconkschnee:
KSchnee Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015  Student Writer
I'd offer a hug if it were physically possible from here.
Reply
:iconsteerpikeofficial:
SteerpikeOFFICIAL Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014
Wow, it looks like we have some simular interests.
Reply
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